Talk:The Last Akatsuki
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Contents |
Darth Revan 101
Thought it was cool
st.john
Make it more better!
the Last Akatsuki
Dont have him die
pein mati karena naruto mengeluarkan SHIKII FUUJIN dan sebelumnya naruto mengeluarkan jutsu UNSEAL dengan mengeluarkan KYUUBI DAN GAMABUNTA yang akhirnya kyuubi mati.
Your a Genius Man! from Random Reader
I really like what you did with all those characters, I mean to be able to link all of those characters together and make a completely new story. At first it looked to long and thought it might be boring but damn was I wrong. And by the way angel summons ROCK! And that Black Mist Coffin Jutsu and the Dark Hell Mirror technique were cool. You sound demoic though but that ok with me as long as you keep writing stuff like this. Hope to read more in the future bye Blackemo1.
AlphaOmaga
Thought it was a good article and boy do u like to write a lot. Can't wait till i see more of your articles!
I love you Blackemo-kun!!
Blackemo1 I am in love with your story! Zukia kicks ass he should be in the real manga too! I wish Zukia didn't die like that other guy said but i guess evil must die in the end (damn all cliches)!! Can I just ask one thing what is your fascination with Orochimaru-sama. He's cool and all but he's a crazy ass homo petefile who wants sasuke as a sex slave. Answer me back please.
Lazerstrike5
hey. i thought that article on zukia was really cool.it makes a good story and ending for someone that kicks Naruto's ass only to be killed by a jutsu he doesnt know. lol. pretty cool though. I'll make sure i check out the links that are mentioned in this article like kagegakure and soul sphere technique.
Suggestion
Can you add more spaces? (pressing enter/return twice creates a new paragraph) It is difficult to read with the format that you currently have. --Dubtiger 03:29, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
Hello Blackemo
For starters thats one wierd ass user name. And second this story is pretty good. It was kinda confusing at first but I started to understand it after a little while. The fact you linked it all together with some of the bigger characters is amazing! I have to ask though wahy would you use that Soul Sphere thingy in the story. NO offense to whoever made it but WTF?! It was wierd but i guess you were just trying to help the guy out. Well hope to see more stuff in the future kid, and maybe ill make something up myself.
Yikes Where to begin
Wow, I can find alot of things not to like about this. First off you should think about finding names that are actually japanese. Sticking together random things to try to sound japanese is a no no. If you wanna try making something good focus on lesser characters not someone like Orochimaru. And geez tossing in the "I'm his father card." and having your characters be powerful. You have Naruto reach full Kyubi but you seem to forget that if he did that he would kinda sorta die, don't think you realized that. Also, you gotta learn the rules of writing, it's kind of annoying seeing all the mistakes. Also, you should do something than have Naruto jump at someone and say "I'm gonna kill you bastard." he's reckless yea, but you write him being down right one dimensional. Zukia(im sure you really thought hard with that one. Rukia with a Z=Not japanese. Because it doens't mean anything.) has Sharingan and all Kekki Genkai. Wow thats pretty lame. Your trying to have him be all powerful but comes off as some amateur writing character. Everything in your "story" is written pretty bad and hence this "story" is bad. Try harder next time. lol
In My Humble Opinion
It is pretty well written, and I suppose it is a good way to describe the creation of the bijuu. I noticed choppy grammar in a few places, but nothing much to panic over.
However, the fact Orochimaru had a ex-god for a father... seems a bit sketchy to me, but other than that, its cool. Mewshuji 16:11, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
Tsunade
Short: Don't Naruto normally call Tsunade for Granny Tsunade, due to her age? Kogone Uchiha (talk) | (contribs) 18:49, 31 July 2008 (UTC)
(blank)
im sure you have a big ability in writing stories but there is one mistake how could naruto let sakura die like that and naruto still smiling to his enemy from time to other beside that naruto will not allowed sakura to scrifice her self that easy beside naruto can use his kage bunshin to protect her or take he from the way as well as he trained and he just got back to tusnade and tell her about sakura,s death this cannot be please discuss what i have writtin .
Hmmm...
Well, Zukia seems like a cool characters. Naruto was a little black and white in this, but you did pretty good. I noticed some grammer and punctuation errors, as well as a tendency toward run-on sentences. But that's easily excusable. I've read many classic works of literature that were full of run-on sentences.
Zukia is really powerful, so it seems strange that he would be taken out with the Soul Sphere Technique. Sakura's death added some drama, which was good. However, it seemed odd that Tsunade was actually a man all this time. I mean, I love gender-related humor like crossdressing and transsexualism, but that one just seemed odd.
Still, it's a very good fanon story, and definitely better than anything I could write. I'm not very fond of the narrative, but I did the same thing in one of the later chapters of Kaikinisshoku for a flashback, so I have no room to talk.
In summary, it was pretty good. Definitely better than anything I could write, and I hope to see more from you. ^_^
Oh, and sorry it took me so long to get around to reading this. ^^U
--Cyberweasel89 15:26, 6 November 2008 (UTC)
